Day One is Done, Whatever the Consequences

Well, day one of bar exam hell is in the bag.  Whatever the consequences may be, I gave it all I had and it took just as much from me.  I feel worn down, beaten with a stick, stuck with a hot poker, or whatever other cliché term you can think of for this particular situation in life.  I am typing this, I just realized.  I have been typing all day.  I’m sick of typing.  But, I want to write down how I feel so that perhaps other bar exam takers in future years can read this and get a dash of hope.

Today was MPT and MEE day.  Joy.  Both of my least favorite parts rolled all up into one lovely package.  We were so blessed to have the MPT first thing this morning, just in time to wake up and get scared to death, with imagination running wild about what it would feel like to just bolt from the room without ever looking back.  I honestly considered it for a few minutes, and then I decided that if I was going to fail, it was going to be because I just didn’t know the rules and couldn’t analyze well enough.  It wasn’t going to be because I was a chicken.  I did hear that someone from the other testing room did, indeed, bolt.  I’m sure that he can sue them for intentional infliction of emotional distress because he suffered an injury.  But, then he consented, so he probably wouldn’t have a case.  So we’re back to square one.

I sat there for a few minutes this morning thinking about how much I wanted this, how hard I had worked for this, and how much this could change my life.  I decided that it was now or never, and that the questions weren’t going to magically disappear from the paper, to be replaced with “Draw a Pink Bunny,” so I decided to give it my best shot and move on to the next question.  It took me hours to figure out that I could, indeed, go back to the previous question, as if I had any time remaining anyway.

I feel pretty good about the MEE portion, honestly.  I knew most of the rules, although the one did throw me for a loop.  They did, indeed, ask something that I felt was more obscure than the bar prep folks had prepped me for, but overall, they did a good job of prepping, if you followed their rules and guidelines. 

I am tired.  I am not nearly as worried as I was yesterday though.  Let’s be honest – tomorrow I only have to worry about 6 subjects, not 14.  That’s a load off a mind if anything is.  6 subjects of which I have done probably 2000 practice questions and will do a few more tonight, just to refresh my recollection, as they say.  Hopefully that’s allowed on this witness stand.

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