So many people have asked me what I will do now that I’m out of school, and my response is usually the same, “I’m not sure yet.” I get the “look” when I say this, of course, because I think most folks think that either the jobs out there are plentiful (they’re not) or that I would not have spent this much time and energy doing something if I had not known for sure that my utopian work life would come to fruition immediately after getting my JD. Well, the latter isn’t true either. For one thing, I’m pretty sure there is no utopian work life in existence anywhere on the planet. Each and every job has something about it that the person doesn’t like. I know there are some that are better than others, but everyone at sometime doesn’t like something about the jobs out there – and that may be as simple as the fact that they have to get up and go to work.
For me, it’s not that just that I haven’t found the right move to make, it’s the fact that I haven’t spent a lot of time looking. I’m trying to get through the bar exam. This, alone, is not an easy task, given that it’s summer, it’s nice outside, and I work a full-time 40 hour per week job as well. I know that there are many out there who are either able to take the summer off or to quit or take personal leave. I just can’t do that. Personal leave would mean quitting my job, which is a good-paying, yet stressful existence at this point in my life. I’m not as young as some of the others coming out of law school, either. I was one of the older people in my class, although not the oldest by a long shot. On one hand, I just don’t have as many options as some of the younger people do, but then again, I have no debt so I am not desperate to find something immediately either. I also didn’t have mommy and daddy paying for everything, either, so I’m not one of the fortunate ones who had no bills like ever and do know the value of working a 40-hour week for a dollar.
I will find my niche. I know I will. I am thankful that I have some options open. With our house sale, we could move anywhere at this point in time. It wouldn’t hurt us to move away from this place and start anew elsewhere. With the new leadership coming in to the place I work, that might be something we’ll need to, rather than want to, do, anyway. One just never knows.
Someone this week at work really tried to make me feel like I was not an intelligent person, again. It’s not the first time, and I’m sure it’s not the last. The funny thing is that I know that I am an intelligent person. I have the grades, the evaluations, the kudos from others, and the mindset to prove it. When I asked someone how to handle this and not let it continue to bother me, he told me something that I believe strongly. The stupid-feeling-maker is simply envious or jealous of my ability to see things more clearly than some other people. I believe he feels that I am a threat to him for whatever reason. I DO NOT want his job! At this point in time at my present company, I have no desire to move up at all. I’ve seen the way it works with those higher than me, and I have no desire to do that in any capacity, given present circumstances. For me, anyway, there is a point in which the money is not worth the trouble or strife. Given another job in another company, I believe my attitude on that would change, just not where I am now. I have to keep the faith and keep doing what I know is both right and the right thing to do. My ethics just won’t let me do it any other way.
So, for now anyway, I lie in wait, waiting on that job I know is out there for me, waiting to be had.