8/11/12 around noon, CDT, in the Gulf of Mexico
Well, today is the last day of our cruise. I am always sad on the last day, and I always threaten to just hide out on the boat or steal a worker’s uniform and just stay on board. I know they work long hours, and a cruise isn’t nearly as much fun for them as it is for us as passengers, it has got to be better than working inland.
I have to make a change. I simply must. I’m reading a book about a couple who, at my own age, decided to say, “Screw you, job and NYC,” and set sail on a 5-year journey on a sailboat. I am not a sailor, and it would scare me to death to be on the huge ocean, alone at night, but it certainly would be a wonderful adventure. Certainly more so than worrying about who has put up yet another paper sign in a hallway (God forbid!) or what type of door someone wants on her office. Zzzzzz. Boring.
I just don’t know what to do. With less than a year left of law school, I find it incresingly difficult to imagine myself doing something else between now and then. I feel completely trapped by the amount of money and vacation I’m granted every year, the latter more than the former. But being unhappy 40+ hours per week is wearing me down. I just despise the politics, but I know I need to learn to ignore them. That’s the most difficult part of my job, that and the indecisiveness.
Today it is, however, a bright and sunny glorious day on the open ocean. With no land in sight, a chair on an open, breezy deck, a good glass of Cabernet, a great book, and zero children, it’s truly a dream. I just don’t want to wake up.