It’s raining again today.  I say again, because it was raining when we got home yesterday as well.  It was dry and clear, though, the whole time we were in Florida, so I am happy for that.  And, a nice good steady rain on a Sunday afternoon, when we have a big covered deck to sit under isn’t really a bad thing, after all.

I have the great urge today to do almost nothing.  I refuse to work today, on this last day of my vacation for several months.  I refuse to even balance my checkbook, sad as it may be after us being on vacation, although we were frugal with our spending while we were away.  I just want to sit and do nothing, or nearly nothing.  I’ve been reading a new book – The Valley of Amazement by Amy Tan – and it’s really good.  I like historical pieces, I love Asian works, and I have to say I’m a bit fascinated by the courtesan industry in China in the early 20th Century.  It’s amazing that people actually lived (and live) that way.

I started thinking today of a project that I can start on.  I remembered a Kaffe Fassett book that I bought a couple of years back, based on some good memories from my distant past of looking at the books at my former in-laws’ home.  I loved the designs that Fassett did – the works of color and bright, cheerful spaces made with nature and other elements.  The shells, birds, faces, plants, vegetables, and colorful mosaics just make me smile.  I love the faces and shells, especially.  I don’t know what it is about them, but they make me feel old worldly like I’m living in Europe or something.  

I missed out on a lot of activities in my 20s.  I didn’t travel.  This week was the first time I’d been to the beach, since I was 5, where I didn’t work for my former employer.  I didn’t even realize that until Friday, I think.  I hadn’t even thought about it until then.  I sometimes wish I could go back and do other things in my 20s, when I was more full of life and vigor.  When I had more energy, more pazzazz.  Less money, but then again, if I had done things the way I should have, I might have actually been way more successful than I turned out to be.  Water under the bridge, I know.  It just seems like a better 20s would have led to an even better 30s and 40s, etc.  And being mid-40s isn’t helping me feel any better about my status in life, at present.

So, I will finally embark on the project I’ve wanted to do for about 15 – 20 years, if I had to guess.  The book was published in 1987, so I am sure that I have looked at it for about that long.  I rarely make a piece for myself, but this time I will.  It’s something I want for my home, and it’s something I’m very very good at.  I wish I could cross-stitch for a living, sometimes.

Speaking of living…I was so frightened to ditch my salaried day job and take a job where there is no guarantee of pay.  I can’t say that it doesn’t still frighten me at times, but now, I could see myself doing this or a version of it, be it in sales or wherever life takes me, in the distant future.  Not being tied to a desk 8 hours a day, 5 days a week has it’s distinct advantages.  There are some disadvantages, as well, as in not-as-much-money, but I think that the peace of mind that I have far outweighs those concerns, especially since we are debt-free other than our house.

So, I bid you farewell, for now, as I translate these wool tapestry colors into cotton skeins and begin this long-awaited and anticipated project.