Today was Christmas Day, 2014. It was a day of a good breakfast, some alone time with my Sweetie, opening presents with the youngest child and the fur child, a good movie with popcuron, and a walk along a star-lit road this evening. It was, more than anything, a time of peace, finally.
This life has not always been easy. It has, in some respects, been hard. Not as hard as some, I know, but harder than it seemingly had to be, mostly due to my own making, of course. I can’t blame my mistakes on others. When you get past 40, you really realize that is so very true.
I’ve mentioned this in other previous blogs, but my life has finally come full circle, somewhat to where I think it should have been about, oh, 15 or so years ago, at the least. If only I’d majored in something other than psychology. If only I’d gone to law school straight out of college. If only I’d not taken those lower-paying jobs because I was scared of my own shadow. If only.
Now, I’ve come to realize that taking the jobs that I took, not going to law school long ago, and majoring in psychology were all for the best, in the long run. They’ve made me who I am – someone who appreciates the things she has in life. Someone who has worked hard to get where she is. Someone who won’t forget what it feels like to be hungry, scared, or tired beyong belief. Someone who cares about other people. Someone who wants to help others make their own lives better. Someone who doesn’t mind if her clients come in with work clothes on, because she knows what it feels like – she’s been there, done that. And, someone who, in a pinch, could make it again, being a low-paid worker working outside. I know how to bathe dogs. I can do anything I have to do to survive.
Tonight, on my peaceful walk with my fur child, I was able to gaze at the starry night. Orion’s Belt gleaming in the east, the Little Dipper up above to the right of our walk, the Milky Way way above, barely visible but still fuzzy and there. It was an amazing evening walk. I lingered along the path, not really cold but chilled. Loved watching my sweet child on her leash, sniffing every mailbox along the road. She loved her walk, and so did I.
Finally, to be at peace in one’s life. It feels amazing. Honestly, I never thought I would reach this point. I thought I would always struggle, stumbling along this life taking as much as I could but not being able to feel fulfilled. But, I do. I am. And I will be.
Merry Christmas this evening.