Breaking

For some people the breaking point comes at a good time in their lives. Sometimes it is at the worst possible time. Sometimes the time is just a blasé in between time that is neither good not bad. I think I’m probably in the latter time period, personally. I have nothing big going on, we have settled into our new home, and I graduated and passed the bar. So everything is lining out pretty well. No surprises.

Lately things have not been great in one part of my life. It’s cyclical. It comes and goes. It gets better; it gets worse. It doesn’t ever line out for very long. It’s like being somewhat bipolar, or so I would imagine, if actions could be so instead of people.

I feel like I’m at a crossroads. Like I could go left, or right, or continue on straight. The straight path just means there will be hills and valleys again. Can I handle the road? Am I strong enough? Do I need to try the left or right turn?

The right turn seems good, it seems right. It seems fit. The left turn has a Jersey barrier at the beginning, partly due to my age and partly due to previous decisions I have made. Not that jumping a Jersey barrier is insurmountable. It can be done. It’s just more difficult.

“Everyone is worth saving.” A line I heard on Scandal today. It resonates with me on this day. This second hardest day of the week. When the truth comes out, when the tale is told, when the King is at the line. Game. Set. Match.

I will need to choose a path. I have so many thoughts in my head. I have so much to consider. But my options are more open because of some previous decisions – go to law school, study hard, take the time to study for the bar, pass it, don’t buy a new car, don’t take on any debt, pay off your bills. Those things have brought more opportunities than I had previously. I just have to decide if I go right or straight.

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