Every Day

Every day since the bar exam results have come out, I have checked back on the website to make sure my name is still on the list. Like if they wrote it in invisible ink it would somehow disappear after a few days, shoving me back into the bar exam Hades I was in for most of the summer. It is still there, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t continue to check it every day or so, at least until I am sworn in on Friday of this week. Taking an oath, wearing my new “lawyer” clothes, and deciding where my fate will take me next. The dream is about to become a reality.

I have never cried for two hours solid before last Friday. I have never been overcome with such raw emotion, never felt such stress relieved at one time, never found that I have achieved a dream I have had for almost 20 years. It was an amazing feeling that I will never forget. I believe everyone should have the opportunity to reach their dreams, but those who wish to try must also know that dreams don’t just appear. They require hard work and sacrifice. They require strength to carry on, going through hell and back. They require moxie.

I have enjoyed all of the congratulations. I have enjoyed talking to other people about my future plans. I enjoyed deleting a certain someone’s address and phone number from my address book. It was a feeling of finally being free of that pat of my past, free to carry on with my life without those shadows.

Someone once told me that the best revenge was a life well-lived. That is exactly what I plan to do.

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