First, I would never make it as a surgical nurse. I am simply not a morning person at all.

About two years ago this week, Sweetie suffered an arm injury when Deena, his dirt bike, fell off his truck onto him after a long ride in the woods. He was tired, and the bile is heavy. He was also 47 years old, so you can fill in the blank how you wish. He had received the bike for his birthday that year’s after hinting for years that he wold really like to relive his youth and ride in the woods again. So, I caved and bought him one for his birthday. Fulfilling someone’s dreams even you love them is just something that one does. Especially when trying to make up for other’s sins of the past that made your loved one’s life less than desirable.

So, we bought a dirt bike.

I only had one request. I name everything. Trees in our yard, plants, and even home appliances have been included in my naming binge over the years.  I told Sweetie that we had to name the bike after someone from his past, an ex-girlfriend from when he was young, as the bike was just as bad for him as she was, according to the stories I have heard about her over the years.

So, he acquiesced and we named her Deena.

And she was just as bad for him as I had envisioned.

So, for his birthday that year, he got a dirt bike named Deena. For Christmas that year, he go  arm surgery, because of Deena. Yes, my usual prediction came true. No wonder I always wanted to go to law school. I sometimes feel like a walking talking proximate cause prediction machine.

So this morning, we are back at the surgery center, where the Oompa Loompa, as we lovingly call his surgeon due to his funny surgical hat, will remove the screw from his arm. Of course, we are going to keep the screw for posterity’s sake. We paid enough for it that we should probably take it straight to the safe deposit vault at the bank.

Dirt bike for your 47th birthday -$1,200
Surgery #1 to fix the arm from the accident from said dirt bike -$15,000
Surgery #2 to remove the pin from Surgery #1 to fix arm from said dirt bike – $5,000

This dirt bike cost as much as law school.

I am glad that there ar folks who can do ortho surgery. It makes me queasy just thinking about it, personally. I am also glad that there are morning people, although I don’t think I will ever be one of them or understand them at all.

Right now, I am trying to figure out if I can fit my legs through the arms of the chairs in the waiting room so that I can take a nap.