You Know You’re Studying for the Bar When…

For those of you who have been there – done that, or those who, for whatever crazy reason have decided to go to law school, this list is for you.

You know you’re studying for the bar exam:

  1. When you go to a Chinese restaurant, you find yourself wondering if the waitress is somehow there on a work visa, if the owner promised to create 10 jobs and put $1M into the economy, or if the waiter came in as a derivative.
  2. When your morning routine actually includes reading the warning label on your tube of toothpaste.
  3. When a family member starts talking about the latest political argument that is carrying the country away, and all you can think is “please shut up so this cause of action doesn’t get trapped in my head and confuse the ones I already have down-pat”.
  4. When you have so much to still learn, with 10 days to go, and you’re actually glad you are able to skip a family party, as you can’t put one more ounce of information into your brain.
  5. When you feel a deep pang of disappointment when you get a 73% on a multiple-choice practice exam, merely because the last time you took one you got a 75%.
  6. When you’re already worried that you won’t be able to take cough drops into the exam, which will in turn cause you to throw up in the trash can like you did in the Property II exam in law school because you were nervous coughing so much.
  7. When you’re greatly disappointed that you will be unable to take highlighters into the exam because they have been your good luck charms in exams throughout law school.
  8. When you’ve grown so accustomed to a white noise rain/thunderstorm background on your iPod that when you hear actual rain outside it doesn’t sound quite real and you start comparing the two.
  9. When you actually feel like filing a nuisance action against a neighbor simply for the fact he’s mowing his yard while you’re trying to study, but then you realize that his interference with your use and enjoyment of your patio is not unreasonable.
  10. When you refuse to read, watch, or even listen to any legal dramas for at least one solid month after the bar, even when it’s your favorite genre of choice.
  11. When you have fantasies of getting pulled over on your way to the bar exam, just so you can ask the officer if he has probable cause that crime is afoot and then laugh because afoot is such a goofy word.
  12. When you want to go down to the county clerk’s office and ask them if they have ever seen a deed that says “O gives Blackacre to A for life, so long as rosemary is never grown on the property”, just to see what their reaction is.
  13. When you’ve stopped caring about your appearance since you’re stuck in the house most of the day.
  14. When you feel that agoraphobia might not be such a bad thing after all, no matter what the DSM-V says.
  15. When you have paid up all your bills two weeks in advance because you know you will forget to pay something and losing electricity and wireless internet during bar prep would cause you to commit a tort.

I’m sure there are more.  These are only the ones that have come to mind today.  Good luck to all of you out there taking the bar this month.  Know you’re not alone.

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