So Sweetie goes last night to get me some Clairitin D as I am unable to breathe or sleep. Apparently my trials and tribulations mean nothing to the pharmacy Nazis, who refuse to sell him any because he has not had a prescription filled in the past 6 months.

We are not hypochondriacs.  Unlike some people who apparently believe that the doctor visit is a God-given right and that someone else will pay for it, we don’t. We only go whenever it is absolutely necessary. Translated, this means that a body part is not working at all or a cut or wound bad enough that steri-strips are not going to work.

For instance, a few weeks ago, when we got the new pendant lights in the kitchen and Sweetie dropped one, cutting two fingers, we just popped on a steri-strip and bandaid and called it good. I know of some other folks who wold have demanded a visit to the emergency room.

Maybe it is that I hate needles. Maybe it is that I don’t like doctors that much either. Maybe it is the fact that I don’t believe 15 minutes, if you are lucky, is worth $125 of time in a doctor visit. Or, maybe it is simply that I only go when it is absolutely necessary.

Regardless of the why in this situation, thanks to all the dumb ass meth makers in my lovely home state, the legislature made it a law that you have to give away your fist born and join the merchant marines for a three-year you of duty in Siberia, sans coat or gloves, in order to purchase anything with Sudafed in it. It is ridiculous. A package of Sudafed costs about $5. Now it will cost about $200, counting the lovely and totally unnecessary doctor visit plus taking off work plus the unnecessary prescription plus the $5 package of Sudafed. So, basically, I am required to go to the doctor for a non-existent ailment so that I can get an expensive prescription for a medication that I don’t need so that I can buy a $5 package of an over the counter medication.

The funny part is the they really think they are cutting down on the drug trade. What a complete joke. As they say, alarm systems are only made to stop the non-determined criminals. The determined know exactly how to get around them. I mean, surely you have seen Hudson Hawk.

So, tonight, as I sit here on a Saturday, miserable because I cannot get a prescription I don’t need on a weekend so that I can purchase an over the counter medication that I do need, I consider alternatives. Jumping over the counter at the pharmacy and handing them $10 as I leave so it is not theft. Throwing my used Kleenexes at the pharmacy counter to somehow prove that I really am in need of a decongestant. But, alas, I won’t do either of these things.  I will instead remain miserable through this annual bout of sinus gunk, because my gloriously wonderful home state really believes that making those of us who need the meds go out and waste money on a doctor visit and a prescription we don’t need is a lesser evil than letting a stupid meth head blow himself up cooking drugs.  If someone is stupid enough to cook bleach, rat poison, and whatever else they use, then perhaps they should be removed from the gene pool anyway.

And, no, the “PE” crap doesn’t work. I might as well take a sugar pill.

So meanwhile, I scour my bathroom and travel bags, looking for even one leftover Clairitin, regardless of how far out of date it might be. It’s funny. I bet the only place I could actually buy a Sudafed at this point is from the meth makers, which is the whole reason behind the law.

Ridiculous.

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