Forty-One and Life

January 12, 201312:24, somewhere above Florida, I guess, at about 30K feet

One week ago today, at this very moment , we were boarding our cruise. It doesn’t seem like it has been a week, but on some aspects it feels like it has been longer than a week. This flight to Atlanta is just depressing. No one on board is really happy, you can tell. Going back to the land of no ocean is no fun. Going back to work, school, and cleaning is a bummer.

I think a lot about moving out of state. If given the opportunity, I certainly would. I don’t think that Sweetie really wants to. I think he is too concerned a oh leaving his family. I am not. It is not that o don’t love them, but the call of another adventure is much greater than the importance of a family reunion. My family, also, would totally understand. They area wandering bunch who loves to travel just as much as I do.

I often wonder how many places I could have visited in my 20s, if I had had the means and made better decisions about life. I feel pretty certain that I would not have stayed in Arkansas, but I also wonder how that would have changed my life, for better or worse.

I just don’t want to get too old to travel or move out of state. I don’t know at which point that becomes a reality, but I hope it is in the distant future.

I have a good friend who was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year. He is my age. His cancer is a very aggressive type that comes back 99% of the time. He has gone through surgery, chemo, radiation, and now is on maintenance chemo – the latter being something I had never  heard of before now. I don’t know how I would react if I was him. Part of me feels like I would simply blow off all the medical teams with their wizardry and head out on a cruise, to see the sights on my last months of being alive. Part of me believes I would hold out for every last shred of hope that the wizards could provide. I hope never to have to make the choice.

In the meantime, I plan to have as many adventures as possible. I hope to see the ocean again soon.  The Pacific really is as blue as it is in your dreams.

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