So my Sweetie decided to take a backroad to avoid traveling on one freeway that takes folks a bit too far east before hitting I55. We needed to stop to get gas anyway, so we pulled in to a Texaco somewhere around Utica,MS, although the actual town of Utica was like 20 miles from there I think. Let’s just say it was a scary place.

So, I left him to pump gas while I went in to use the restroom. This was an experience. I have never “hovered” so far above a toilet in my life. Anyway, I made it back out unscathed (as far as we know), only to find the car seemingly abandoned. The gas cap door was ajar, and the gas cap itself was dangling from its little plastic wire. Both were looking at me, I swear, saying “Someone took Sweetie!”. This, of course freaked me out for several reasons: (a) Sweetie never pays inside, (b) I’ve never been to Utica, MS, (c) I don’t know anyone in Utica, MS, (d) the door to the car was locked, and best of all (e) Sweetie had the keys.

So, I went back in the gas station to find him. He was nowhere to be found. I went back out to the car and stood there, looking for a getaway car with Sweetie bound and gagged in the backseat or a trunk from which kicks and screams eminated. Seeing none, I thought, “Great. I am in Middle-of-Nowhere, MS, without keys, and my Sweetie has been taken by aliens.”

Then, I saw him in the store! And he was going to wash his hands. Turns out the credit card payment slot outside was broken, he’d gotten sticky on his hand from the Coke from the fridge, and he had not, indeed, been abducted.

Vacation: carry on as scheduled.