It’s working. I have gone all day without thinking of the stupid person I’ve banished from my life.
It’s not because I’ve been too busy or anything. It’s simply because I have chosen not to let this person even enter my thoughts for more than 2 seconds before jettisoning him/her from my thoughts. Oh, what a wonderful feeling that has been.
All day, I’ve been able to think about things that make me happy. I even reached a new level of IDC (I don’t care) with things that are beyond my control. For instance, someone today basically yelled at me in an email about a decision that was made by a vendor. I had no control over this decision, and this vendor is not one of my regulars, with whom I have an excellent relationship. I was hurt, a bit, by the email, honestly because I consider the writer a friend. But, today a new strain developed due to the miscue by the vendor, and for which I was, of course, blamed.
I stood over in my new building, with a tour group, reading the email to myself, and trying to decide how to respond. I stood there, thinking about how mad it made me, and how it made me feel like I had done something wrong. Then, all of a sudden it hit me: It was not my fault! The person could be as mad as he wanted, and could blame me for whatever, but I had no control over what his vendor does, and he has no control over me!
So, I decided right then and there that if people want to be pissed off about my building, the design, the vendors, or whatever else, I know that I’m going to be the whipping girl for a while. That’s fine. I don’t have to go home with them at night. I don’t have to talk to them on the weekends. They don’t come to my house for family gatherings. I don’t need their love and affection. I have all of that from my own loving family and group of wonderful friends. And, even if this person was mad enough to go complain to my boss’s boss’s boss, and I was to get fired, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Why? Because I did the right thing. I did what I was asked to do. I did nothing wrong, I have no guilt, and I have nothing to be ashamed of. So, I made up my mind right then that this stuff isn’t going to bother me like it has been.
People are going to be unhappy with something you do every day. Our former governor had a saying similar to that. I have that saying taped to my computer monitor at work. I need to remember that, because that’s what it is all about. It is not about what you do at work every day, for the most part, although there are some exceptions. It’s about the relationships you have – both at work and home, church and school – that make the difference.
As one of my friends said one time, before he died at 47 from lung cancer, “No one, at the end of his life says that he wishes he would have spent more time at the office.” I, too, don’t want to look back and think about the time I have wasted thinking about little things, like how many data outlets someone asked for versus what they got versus what they want three years later. I want to remember my friends, my family, and my loved ones. That is what it’s all about.