Tours Are Me

Yes, I have more goofy tour questions and stories to brighten your world.  Just think of them as my little Tuesday gift.

The other day, I was touring a small group.  We had seven folks signed up, but only three showed up for some reason or another.  I went ahead and took the three, mainly because I didn’t want to have to reschedule them for later.  It also helps with customer service, apparently.

One was quiet.  I like this type, as they are usually non-troublemakers.  One was funny.  I also like this type, as I try to be funny myself on the tours, a la, “Yes!  The showers really are green,” when they are just covered by a plastic protective film.  One, however, had some really strange questions.  Hers made the list this week.

“Is this staff-only garden area going to be open at 2a.m. so that we can come out here and eat watermelon?”

I thought she was kidding.  She was not.  She was dead serious.  Apparently, this watermelon-eating habit is something of which I, and many of my co-workers, are not aware.  Little did we know that there was an underground, outdoor, watermelon-eating cult keeping the whole place running in the middle of the night.

I told her that I really didn’t know when they would open the area at night, if at all, as that was a Security question.  This, unfortunately, did not get me off the hook.

“Well, you know, sometimes we want to come outside and eat watermelon at 2a.m. because we get cold, and we don’t have anywhere else to go right now to be able to do that.”

The first thing that popped in my head was, “What about winter?”, but of course, I kept this to myself.  I just smiled and repeated that it was a Security question and that I really had no idea what the hours would be.  This, also, did not get me off the hook.

“Well, it has a card reader, so it shouldn’t be that hard to keep people in if they want to.”

I just smiled and said it was time to go inside for the rest of the tour.  I had no other response.

I have a tour in the morning, a vendor tour (2.5 hours – joy!) in the afternoon tomorrow, and two more this week after that.  I’m sure I’ll have more fodder for you then.

Until then, though, sweet dreams.  Just be glad you aren’t me, Tour Guide to the Stars.

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